If ever you find yourself agreeing with T.I. To say that Boosie Badazz’s recent tweet calling Lil Nas X a “f**got,” and wishing that the 22-year-old music superstar commits suicide, is deeply triggering as a Black queer man, would be an understatement.
This is the kind of self-policing and decision-making many LGBTQ people, particularly those who are Black, resort to as a means of social, and sometimes literal survival. I was heading to a ‘straight’ social event at the time, and so I decided on my way to the car to drive back home across the street and quickly change out of my shorts and slip into something less obviously ‘gay’ so that I could avoid any other potential run-ins that would bring me attention or harm. Perhaps the shorts or the sway of my walk was too much, I thought to myself. I was dressed in a polo button up shirt, skinny fitted short-shorts and loafers. I immediately turned my attention to what I was wearing. I started to investigate whether or not I did something to deserve such hate and rage.
Doing what many do when they are humiliated or a victim of verbal or physical abuse, I internalized it and blamed myself.
